I Loved a Homossexual!!!

I was about 17 years old when I had my first experience with a gay man. I remember as if it was yesterday, I’d take a bus to go to my church, as I used to do every weekend. It was about 06:00 p.m. and my bus was leaving in 30 minutes, when I saw a nice and well dressed gentleman who did not take his eyes off me. I was sitting on a bench near the bus and he was a little distant when he started to wink at me. I remember I was quite embarrassed, but I took courage and invited him to sit beside me. He promptly responded to my request and soon came, shook my hand and started to touch my hair. With the same smile I had called him to draw near, I started a conversation:

- How are you? My name is Robert, what is your name?

- My name is Marcos! He answered smiling.

- Well, I just called you here because I wanted you to know that I am very happy! I said with a tone through daring.

- I already know you’re happy. That’s ’cause you have so many friends like me, that’s why you are so lively! He answered all excited.

- Not exactly. Actually I’m very happy because one day I was washed and redeemed by the blood of the Lamb.  That’s what I want to talk to you about. I answered firmly.

- O no! Are you a believer? Only that I lacked… He responded taking his hands off me, quite indignant.

Because in no time I had demonstrated any kind of prejudice and I wanted to know his history, we talked about his life as well as the Bible.

What was interesting was that I had my Thompson Bible in my backpack, which was an old and huge Bible. As it passed a friend of Marcos, he said:

- Hey you, come here! This is Robert. He is a believer and has no prejudice. He wants to talk to us about the Bible.

That Sunday I didn’t go to the church’s service. I made my own cult in a road bench, surrounded by many gay men, some sitting next to me and others sitting on the floor, and me with my giant Bible on my lap and the people getting off the buses or passing on foot stopping to see what was happening. I didn’t mind to talk about salvation because they all already knew about Jesus. I just talked about God’s love and grace and many seeds were planted that night.

Back home I cried a lot when I was praying before sleep, the great void and the distorted values of those men touched me deeply. I wondered why we Christians silent our voices to these people? Why did they say I had no prejudice? What is the vision of a homosexual to the church, and what is the vision of the church to a homosexual? Why we, Christians, close ourselves to these people?

God told me that I could and should love a homosexual because it’s only through this love that he can find himself in God.

Maybe you’re thinking now: would it be right if I came to the pulpit of a church and said “I love you” to a homosexual or to a prostitute?

In my many years of experience with re-socialization and night missions I found not only in theory but in practice that if there is no love there will never be recovery, for only true love that comes from above, from God, who is not limited to race, sexuality or beliefs, you can bring a man back to life in society.

He loves us unconditionally. Even though we do not deserve it he still cries for us and suffers our pain because he hates sin, but always loved the sinner.

I have no problem to ascend to a pulpit to say out loud that I loved and still love a homosexual because I knew a guy who was not ashamed to ascend naked to a cross, jus to say he loves homosexuals, pedophiles, prostitutes, thieves, drug addicts, among other sinners like you and me.

I still have many friends that I made in the streets and brothels who are transvestites, prostitutes, drug addicts, alcoholics, beggars, customers of drugs and prostitution. Real bastards like me, with the only difference that I was reached by the favor I don’t deserve from God. That does not make me more or less loved by him, but gives me the privilege to bless these people who are also beloved by the Father. Who puts them on the borders of society are we, for

God has them as the crown of his creation, his image and likeness.

During my Christian walk I noticed flaws in my character, especially when I labeled these people without knowing their life stories. Maybe you identify with one of these flaws, and God is calling you to a deeper relationship with Him.

I found that if I love people who supposedly have a sanctified life just as my pseudo-holiness, I am only a gospel gay,just because the main characteristic of a homosexual is that he loves someone of the same sex, in other words, someone who looks like him. If I just want to love my brethren from the church, I am a gospel gay because I chose to love who is like me.

When I find myself in a religious system that never lets me see the pain, suffering and great misfortunes of the world around me, and I sell myself to this system in exchange for the promises that God never made or would never do, when

I get only personal blessings, I’m only a gospel whore, because I’ll never answer to the ills of the world or be a voice against injustice. Rather than wash my soul in the blood of the Lamb, not only to be blessed, but to bless, I wash my hands like Pontius Pilate, in the dirty waters of a corrupt religious system that only teaches me to seek the blessings of the Father only, but very little, the Father gives me those same blessings.

Interestingly in this system I can be a gospel prostitute, but the real prostitute will always be the whore, the gay, an effeminate sodomite, the beggar a homeless drunkard. The image and likeness of God will always be reciprocated to

those reached by the sublime grace or the religious leaders who are semi-gods on earth. That is why they are successful at all.

I also discovered that when I go to a church in order to sing desperately, raise my hands and cry, to be numb and dazed by the so-called spontaneous praise or extravagant worship, I’m really sorry, for we need to revise our notions of praise and worship. Who am I to question the way you praise? I believe that this role is given to the Holy Spirit, but the problem is that biblically we worship God with attitudes, not only with songs called spiritual. If I do not live what I sing, these expressions of praise are just a great trip, an illusion. When this occurs, I am only a gospel junkie.

If I serve God only in order to make money, either through genuine faith or by shady ways, by a false gospel of prosperity, this one that you already know and is thinking about, that one that has dragged thousands of Christians to the hell of capitalism. For sure I am a gospel beggar because I do not understand that without my neighbor there is no Gospel of the Kingdom and that to live only in prosperity in whatever area you apply it, is actually living on spiritual crumbs and handouts. What God wants to give us in terms of quality of life is far greater than gold and silver, does not depend and never depended on these things or a life full of great victories and glory. If God has promised you only those things, I think we’re talking about very different gods. To have a deep and intimate relationship with the Creator is true prosperity.

Love unconditionally and for sure you’ll understand why God brought you into this world, and it will be easier for you to escape this gospel world.

Today I pray for Fabio (transvestite who goes by the name of Yasmin), for Edilson (ex-convict who is HIV positive since he was sexually abused in jail), for Claudette (who prostitutes herself to support the addiction to merla and crack), for Mario (lost his sense of reason and is known as mad because has been living for 20 years on the streets) and many others I could mention, wonderful people that God himself gave me the privilege and honor to be able to love and embrace as true friends.

Forgive me if this bothers you, maybe Matthew 25:31-46 is torn or scratched from your Bible not to bother you too.

If you understand what is Grace, and it only includes, not excludes, congratulations!

You might be able to live the values and concepts of the Gospel of the Kingdom of God, based on the biblical text quoted from Matthew. Enjoy and take a little time to visit Jesus Christ in a hospital, a prison or in any place where the margins of society are concentrated.

It’s nice when we read John 3:16 in the view of I John 3:16.

Just to finish, whenever I see a gay, whether a man or a woman on the street or in anywhere, I am very touched and always do the same prayer:

“Father, I beg you please, if I have kids, do not let any of them become a homosexual. But I understand that each one choose their own path and give account of themselves to God, as I heard many examples of transvestites saying they were sons of ministers or children of believers. God, if any of my children choose that way teach me to love them as the Lord loves us all…”

Robert Itamar Alves da Costa

YWAM Rio de Janeiro-Brazil